Advice I Wish Someone Had Shared With Me: How to make difficult decisions as a Student Athlete
Are you a student athlete who needs to make a difficult decision?
Or, are you a parent of a student athlete, and your son or daughter is facing a challenging situation in which they must make a choice?
Well, today I am going to share some advice I gave to a player I was once coaching when he needed to make a difficult decision.
And I hope this advice will be a guiding principle to:
Help Student Athletes When Making Tough Choices
This particular player approached me for some advice about what to do for college.
He was wondering what school he should go to and whether he should continue to play his sport or if it was time to hang up his shoes and end his competitive sporting career altogether.
This individual was either a two or three sport athlete and had a lot of potential.
He had some opportunities to play at some lower level schools or he could try out as a preferred walk on at a higher level school.
As I listened to his stories and all the factors and variables he was weighing to make his decision, I began to chime in with my experiences going through college as well as the experiences of other athletes I had coached who had gone through college.
Eventually, I could see him gaining clarity about the path forward he felt was best for him, but I could tell he was still hesitant about it.
Quite frankly, it was completely NORMAL for him to be hesitant in a situation like this because it was probably one of the biggest decisions of his life thus far:
He was deciding which school to go to
He was deciding what subjects he wanted to study
He was deciding whether he wanted to continue playing his sport or if it was time to end his sporting career (an idea he had never conceived of before in his entire life)
Then, I felt something inside me call him to give him this advice:
“Whatever decision you make,
YOU WILL BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT.
And you will learn and grow from it.
And it will refine you into the being you were born to be.”
And that is the same advice I would like to offer you today if you are making a difficult decision:
“Whatever decision you make,
YOU WILL BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT.
And you will learn and grow from it.
And it will refine you into the being you were born to be.”
As student athletes, we face many difficult decisions.
In our sports:
What team do we want to try out for?
What position do we want to play?
Is it time to end our sporting career?
In school:
What school do we want to go to?
What do we want to study?
How can we integrate the material into our lives?
In life:
What career path do we want to pursue?
Where do we want to live?
What impact do we want to have and what do we want to be remembered for in this lifetime?
Despite these inevitable difficult decisions that arise in this Game of Life,
The advice I encourage you today with is:
TO OWN YOUR DECISION!!!
Go all in on your decision without looking back … because:
“Whatever decision you make,
YOU WILL BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT.
And you will learn and grow from it.
And it will refine you into the being you were born to be.”
I wish you well on your journey of realizing you can handle any decision you make in life, and I look forward to seeing you next week.
Do You Want to Be Remembered??? How to be remembered in your game (and beyond)
Do you want to be remembered for your game?
I hear many student athletes say they want to be remembered for how they play their game.
And I think if we are honest, we all want to be remembered for something.
Those who are remembered seem to have more opportunities flow their way and make a larger impact on those around them.
With this, today we will talk about:
3 Qualities to Help You Be Remembered in Your Game (and Beyond Your Game)
People “wanting to be remembered for something” has become so cliche in this day and age.
(There’s even that song that says “100% reason to remember the name.”)
I believe deep down we all want to be remembered in some way, so we can have more opportunities and can make a greater impact.
Here are:
3 Qualities to Help You Be Remembered in Your Game (and Beyond Your Game)
1. Innovation
Create new ways and techniques of doing things nobody has ever seen before.
I recall the Super Bowl between the Philadelphia Eagles and New England Patriots.
The Eagles ran a trick play nobody had ever seen before.
They ended up scoring, they ended up winning, and this play was forever known as The Philly Shuffle.
The Eagles designed a new play that helped them:
Score
Win the game
Be remembered for their innovation
2. Perseverance
Have the resilience to press on through life’s trials, tribulations, and storms and remain steadfast on your goals and vision.
Cal Ripken Jr. was a baseball player who was referred to as The Iron Man.
He played in over 2,000 straight major league baseball games despite long, grueling summer days and aches, pains, and injuries.
He pressed on through all the game’s challenges
He had remained durable throughout his career
He was remembered as The Iron Man
3. Authenticity
Fully embrace and bring out the athlete you were designed to be.
Embrace all your:
Strengths
Weaknesses
Flaws and imperfections
And fully be who you are.
Your game doesn’t need another Patrick Mahomes
Your game doesn’t need another Caitlin Clark
Your game doesn’t need anyone else
Who your game needs …
IS YOU!!!
Embrace your playing style
Embrace what makes you train your best
Embrace your leadership and communication styles
Embrace what gets you pumped up and how you make your unique impact
The more you embrace who you are (flaws, imperfections, quirks, and all) …
The more you make your authentic impact on the game and …
The more you will be remembered in your game.
Recap
3 Qualities to Help You Be Remembered in Your Game (and Beyond):
Innovation- Create new ways and techniques of doing things nobody has ever seen before
Perseverance- Have the resilience to press on through life’s trials and tribulations and remain steadfast on your vision
Authenticity- Fully embrace all of who and what you are, bring out the athlete you were uniquely designed to be, and make the impact you were created to make
I wish you well on your journey of being remembered in your game and in the Larger Game of Life beyond your game, and I look forward to seeing you next week.
Afraid You Won’t Make It As An Athlete??? How to Develop the Mental Resilience to Access your Full Potential
“DARN IT!!! I missed the shot!”
“Are you kidding me ump, that was definitely a strike!”
“Why is coach taking me out of the game again???”
It’s inevitable within our sports …
Situations outside of our control happen.
Often, athletes will view these as negative, get down on themselves, and mentally check out of the game.
However, today I am going to offer you a new perspective.
And when you hold onto this belief with unwavering conviction,
You will be refined into the athlete you were born to be in your game
And …
You will be refined into the person you were born to be in the Larger Game of Life.
This belief is:
The Game is orchestrating all events to guide you to your Highest Potential.
Let me say that again:
The Game is orchestrating all events to guide you to your Highest Potential.
In your game, if you:
Miss a Shot- You realize the Game is providing you feedback so you can make it the next time
Get a Bad Call- You realize the Game is providing you an opportunity to respond poised for the next play
Get Pulled Out of the Game- You realize the Game is providing you an opportunity to rejuvenate and witness the game from a new perspective so you can go back in firing on all cylinders
The Game is orchestrating all events to guide you to your Highest Potential.
And this translates to the rest of your life as well.
You see, on a personal note,
My life has been full of uncontrollable situations that have appeared to be negative.
But I have held fast to this belief, and as a result …
Life has always provided me a larger platform to have a greater impact on those around me.
My Dream
When I was young, I vividly recall watching a young basketball player in the 2008 NCAA basketball tournament named Stephen Curry.
And when I watched this guy play,
He inspired me and reminded me the way I played basketball.
From that point on,
I devoted my life to one day playing professional basketball so everyone who watched me play would be inspired.
And I full-heartedly committed to making this a reality.
I was the recess king of the court.
I was extremely competitive on my travel teams.
However, I came down with a mysterious medical condition that kept me from growing.
This made basketball extremely difficult, but I remembered:
The Game is orchestrating all events to guide you to your Highest Potential.
My Realization
I buckled down to get every edge I could get:
I would practice my skills for hours
I was in the weight room, doing plyometrics, and running around the neighborhood
I honed in on my nutrition, mindset, sleep, recovery, toughness, and every little “enhancement” I heard about
And as a result,
I was the most well-rounded athlete I could be and remained competitive.
Soon afterwards,
I came down with more mysterious medical conditions that made my gut extremely compromised and made my body overly exhausted. Eventually these health complications led to me being taken out of sports and I watched my athletic dreams wash away.
This was heart-breaking to me, but I remembered:
The Game is orchestrating all events to guide you to your Highest Potential.
My Realization
Although I was unable to live my dream,
I became extremely smart about all facets sports performance related,
And I could help other athletes reach their aspirations.
I geeked out on training science
I started coaching high school teams
I went to college with the mission of cracking the code to make anyone an elite athlete
And as a result,
I had many amazing opportunities lined up for me to train high-level athletes after college.
However,
I was graduating in the spring of 2020 (News Flash: When the world was put on hold due to the pandemic) which canceled all my post-college training plans.
Not only were these plans canceled,
I couldn’t find any job within the training industry because we were not allowed to be within 6 feet of others.
I was bewildered and confused about what to do, but I remembered:
The Game is orchestrating all events to guide you to your Highest Potential.
My Realization
Rather than wait around for opportunities to train athletes,
I could create an online brand where I could train anybody virtually!
This way:
I could impact far more athletes
I was not confined to my physical location
I could overcome the restrictions brought on by the pandemic
I took a look at what I knew about the internet:
Google
Microsoft Word
Email … And that’s about it!!!
But I committed myself to this new vision and would learn how to do it.
And as a result,
I created an online ecosystem with social media platforms, online courses/coaching, email systems, and sales funnels.
After a few months of running this online ecosystem though,
I began to feel a deep hole within my being that grew deeper and deeper the more I produced content.
Eventually I perceived this was a strong call that Life was calling me to another Path.
Once again, lost and confused, I told myself:
The Game is orchestrating all events to guide you to your Highest Potential.
My Calling
One night, feeling utterly debilitated by everything that had been happening in my life, I went out into the middle of a field one night, stood there underneath the stars, and said:
”Life, You have taken away everything I have worked so hard for:
You took away my athletic dreams through my health conditions
You took away my training opportunities after college with the pandemic
Now you are taking away this online ecosystem I created because I feel a deep sense of unfulfillment
What are you leading me to???
How are you guiding me to my Highest Potential???
What do you have for me???
I SURRENDER!!!
SHOW ME THE WAY!!!”
And once I said those words, I had this surreal experience where every cell in my being felt like it was dissolving and melting away:
My Skin
My Muscles
My Bones
All of it dissolving and melting away …
Until there was nothing left but a ball of fire, a bundle of energy, deep inside my being.
And when I connected with that,
I realized that could never be taken away …
And that fire inside me is what will inspire others as I help them to connect with it within themselves.
So, you see,
Every uncontrollable situation that has taken away my dreams in my life,
Has only led to a larger platform to make a greater impact on more people.
And I have been able to persevere through this all because I have remained steadfast with the unwavering conviction that:
The Game is orchestrating all events to guide you to your Highest Potential.
I invite you to look at your game, and your Game of Life beyond,
And see how every seeming setback is actually …
Refining you into the athlete, the student, and the BEING …
You were born to be.
I wish you well on your journey of realizing the Game is orchestrating all events to guide you to your Highest Potential, and I look forward to seeing you next week.
Attention Student Athlete Mothers: 3 Ways Moms Can Have a Profound Impact on the Lives of Student Athlete Children
This is for the mothers of student athletes!
Or, if you are a student athlete, please share this with your mother.
As we celebrate Mother’s Day today, we are going to discuss:
3 Ways Moms Can Have a Profound Impact on the Lives of Student Athlete Children
Disclaimer:
I AM NOT A MOTHER!!!
But, I was a student athlete and today I will be speaking from the perspective of a student athlete and what I am most grateful for about how my mom impacted my development in my game, in my schoolwork, and in my life.
1. Be Present
Do your absolute best to be at your child’s activities:
Their games and tournaments
Activities in school such as awards ceremonies
Other events outside of school such as music recitals, youth groups, and volunteer opportunities
Physically be present for them.
And also …
Mentally and emotionally be present for them.
When you are with your son or daughter, focus all your thoughts and attention on them in the moment.
When you are present for your student athlete physically, mentally, and emotionally,
They will realize how much you care for them and are invested in their success and development.
2. Offer Them a Helping Hand
As student athletes, your son and/or daughter has a lot on their plate:
Their games and practices
Their homework, exams, and other school activities
Their other training and recovery such as their mindset, nutrition, and sleep
With all this going on …
They can easily become overwhelmed trying to keep up with everything.
And when they are doing their best to manage everything, but are having difficulty keeping up …
Offer to help them out with something like:
Cooking food
Cleaning the dishes
Doing small tasks and chores
(Note: This does not give them the green light to sit around playing video games, eating potato chips, while forcing you to clean their rooms for them, but when they truly are doing their best, offer them your helping hand.)
When you offer to help your son or daughter with various tasks,
They will realize how much you care for them and are invested in their success and development.
3. Provide a Compassionate and Loving Touch
Perhaps my most powerful memory of my mom actually came outside of my sports.
I was on a hospital bed, going through some medical challenges, and I remember this one specific moment when …
She touched my hand.
And, although it was a tiny act,
Every vein in my body tingled as I realized how much my mom loved me and cared for my well being.
I invite you to do the same.
Every day, provide your son and/or daughter a compassionate and loving touch:
A genuine hug emanating from the heart
A tender-hearted touch on their hand or shoulder
Any other gesture done from a space of pure affection
Although they may not overtly express it,
Your son and/or daughter loves YOU, wants to be loved by YOU, and wants to make YOU proud.
Once again, when you provide your child with a compassionate and loving touch,
They will realize how much you care for them and are invested in their success and development.
Recap
3 Ways You Can Have a Profound Impact on the Lives of Student Athlete Children:
Be Present- Physically, mentally, and emotionally
Offer a Helping Hand- When they are truly trying their best, yet still feeling overwhelmed
Provide a Compassionate and Loving Touch- One that is authentic and emanates from the heart
I wish you well on your journey of empowering your student athlete in their game, in their schoolwork, and in the Larger Game of Life, and I look forward to seeing you next week.
Feeling TRAPPED as an Athlete??? How to PLAY FREE in Your Game (and in Life)
Do you feel like you are underperforming?
Sometimes you feel:
Slow
Stuck
Just a little bit “Off”
You know you have the potential inside you because you are able to execute highly in practice,
But when the game is on the line,
You freeze up and miss your opportunities.
And this leaves you feeling worried about how others are judging your performance, such as:
Your coach
Your teammates
Your family and friends
Look, I know …
Feeling trapped as an athlete absolutely SUCKS!!!
Throughout my career as an athlete,
There were many times I felt trapped as well.
I knew I had the potential inside me as I would perform well in practice,
But there were moments I would freeze up during crunch time and I would let my opportunities slip away.
After the game, I’d berate myself:
“How could I miss my mark?!?”
However, through this process,
I discovered how I could play freely as an athlete,
And today we will talk about:
3 Areas to enable you to play FREELY in your game, and in the Larger Game of Life
Freedom in Your Craft
As an athlete, your Craft is your sport.
Master the skills of your sport.
Intentionally practice the skills and techniques to enable you to excel in your sport.
If you play basketball, work on your shot
If you golf, work on the mechanics of your swing
If you play softball or baseball, work on taking grounders and fly balls
Condition your body so you can move and function optimally.
Make sure you are following a well-rounded training program that targets the energy systems and movement patterns of your sport to enhance your abilities.
Study the intricacies, nuances, and ins and outs of the strategy of your sport.
This will help you become a complete athlete and be the smartest player you can be.
Study the greats in your sport and watch your own game film to help you understand how you can improve.
Freedom in Your Mind
Train your mind so you can sink into the Zone effortlessly and at ease.
Focus on one thing at a time.
Be able to hold your attention only on the present moment.
If you are practicing, focus only on your practice
If you are doing chores, focus only on the task at hand
If you are doing homework, shut off all other distractions and zone in on your homework
Remain cool, calm, and composed in pressure situations.
Slow down your breathing so you can regulate your Nervous System.
Develop your mental toughness and resilience.
Push your edges in your training and take on challenging tasks in your daily life.
Freedom to Play for a Greater Cause Beyond the Game Itself
Every time you step into practice, a training session, or a game, play for your:
Enjoyment
Inspiration
Passion
And for the enjoyment, inspiration, and passion of others:
Your team
Your school
Your community
3 Ways to Play Freely in Your Game
Freedom in Your Craft
Freedom in Your Mind
Freedom to Play for a Greater Cause Beyond the Game Itself
And these three areas will enable you to play freely in the Larger Game of Your Life.
Freedom in Your Craft
In life, your Craft is what you absolutely love to do.
Your calling
Your passion
Your purpose
Discover what it is and become the best at it you can possibly be.
Master the skills and study the nuances, intricacies, and ins and outs of it.
Freedom in Your Mind
Focus fully on the present moment.
Remain cool, calm, and composed in pressure-filled situations through the storms Life may provide.
Develop the mental toughness and resilience to become the person you were meant to be.
Freedom to Play for a Greater Cause Beyond the Game Itself
In everything you do, do it for your:
Enjoyment
Inspiration
Passion
And for the enjoyment, inspiration, and passion of others:
Your community
Your family, friends, and coworkers
And eventually to the world as a whole
I wish you well on your journey of playing freely in your game, and in the Larger Game of Life, and I look forward to seeing you next week.
Want More Playing Time??? 4 Ways to enable your coach to trust you more and get more playing time (in your game and in Life)
Do you want more playing time?
I mean, you know you’re better than Joe Schmoe over there, but he is getting more playing time because the coach likes him more.
And you chalk up your lack of playing time to having a bad coach.
There’s no way around it.
COACHES DO PLAY THEIR FAVORITES.
So today, we are going to talk about:
4 Ways to Enable Your Coach to Trust You More
So you can
Get More Playing Time in Your Game
And at the end, we will see how these same tactics will
Translate to More Opportunities in Your Life
Ready???
Let’s get it!!!
1. Get Good
This is the first step to getting more playing time.
But, I bet you already knew that didn’t you 🙂 ?
Those with more skills and abilities get more playing time.
Practice your skills
Train your body and mind
Hone in on your nutrition, sleep, and recovery
Assuming you are already working on these, let’s move onto the next three.
2. Energy
Bring energy to your practices and games.
In the first 15 minutes, make it a priority to give all your teammates a:
Positive Touch- A high-five or fist bump
And a
Call Out- “I see you!” “Let’s get it!” “Big day today! We got this!”
When you bring energy, you enhance and uplift your team and the environment around you.
When your coach sees this,
They will see you as a valuable asset to enhance the performance of the team.
And, with that, comes more playing time.
3. Communication
Be clear and effective in your communication.
When you leave a conversation with your coach,
Repeat what they said to you
To let them know you are on the same page.
When you are running a play with your teammates,
Be communicating what you and everyone is doing.
Clear and effective communication strengthens your coach’s trust in you because:
They know you understand what is going on
They know you can be an extension of the coach on the floor
This increased trust
Can get you more playing time.
4. Be Present in the Game
Shift your focus:
Away from your coach
Away from your playing time
Away from your results, performance, and mistakes
And onto the game at hand.
When you react after mistakes or turn your head to your coach worried they will yank you out of the game,
This emits an aura of a lack of confidence.
And when your coach sees this lack of self-confidence,
They will be less likely to trust in you.
However, when you put all your attention and focus onto the next play,
You will paradoxically perform better.
And, subsequently, emit an aura of self-confidence that everybody can count on you.
Including your coach, who will likely give you more playing time!
4 Ways to Get More Playing Time
Get Good
Energy
Communication
Be Present
And, guess what???
These same four qualities will provide you more aligned opportunities in the Larger Game of Life
1. Get Good
Discover what you love and go all in to be the best you can at it.
2. Energy
Bring energy into everything you do.
Give your mom a hug and tell her you love her
Sit in the front row at class eager and ready to learn
Bring your authenticity into every task and interaction you have
When you bring energy into every moment,
You will perform better in all you do and
You will be amazed at what opportunities open up for you.
3. Communication
Be clear and effective in your communication.
Ask your teachers how you can implement the material in your life
Tell your parents your visions and aspirations
Let the world know about your goals
When you communicate clearly and effectively,
New opportunities can present themselves in ways you may never have imagined.
4. Be Present
Focus on the moment at hand.
Bring all your attention
Bring all your devotion
Bring all your passion
To each and every moment.
When you move through life in this way,
YOU BRING THE FULLEST VERSION OF YOU INTO ALL YOU DO.
And Life will conspire to guide you to your Highest Potential.
I wish you well on your journey of getting more playing time in your game as well as awakening to more opportunities in Life, and I look forward to seeing you next week.
Are You a Leader??? 4 Qualities to enable you to be the TRANSFORMATIVE LEADER you were BORN TO BE
Am I a leader???
What is the most effective way to lead???
How do I know I am truly leading in an authentic way???
Have you ever asked yourself these questions?
Growing up, I used to ask these questions as well, so today we are going to talk about:
4 Qualities to Enable You to Be the Transformative Leader You Were Born to Be
1. Choose Who You Desire To Be
Not society!!!
Your passion!!!
Tim Tebow was always told he was going to be a linebacker.
However, he chose to be a quarterback and went all in on this dream.
As it turns out, he:
Won the Heisman Trophy
Led his team to a national championship
Went to the NFL
All as a quarterback.
Let your heart show you who you desire to be.
Take some time out of your day to sit down and write out the career you want to have.
What skills do you want to have?
How do you want to be remembered in the game?
What impact and legacy do you want to leave beyond the game?
2. Own Your Strengths
You have been blessed with a set of strengths nobody else possesses.
What are your strengths?
GO ALL IN on your strengths without worrying too much about your weaknesses.
Rather, have teammates who have strengths that complement your weaknesses.
Clayton Kershaw doesn’t work on much batting practice. He focuses on pitching.
If your strength is blocking, don’t worry about catching; let the receivers do that!
When teams are aligned in this way, where everybody is placed in positions to utilize their strengths and complement the weaknesses of their teammates,
Are when they win championships.
3. Appreciate, Respect, and Integrate Various Perspectives
Be open minded to and embrace different ways of training, practicing, and strategies.
Kobe Bryant took dance lessons so he could learn new ways of moving his feet to help him become a better basketball player.
Take in new ideas, integrate them into your own system, and expand on them to make them your own.
4. Innovate
Think outside the box to create new ways of doing things nobody has seen before.
James Harden invented new ways of doing the Euro Step.
Patrick Mahomes has an unorthodox way of playing quarterback nobody has seen before.
Steve Jobs once said:
“People don’t know what they want until you make it and give it to them.”
Allow your creativity, your Inner Genius, to bring about a masterpiece nobody has seen before.
Recap
Choose Who You Desire To Be: Take time out of your day to write out the career you choose to have. What skills do you want and how do you want to be remembered in the game and beyond the game?
Own Your Strengths: Go all in on your strengths and allow your teammates to complement your weaknesses with their strengths.
Appreciate, Respect, and Integrate Various Perspectives: Take in new ideas, integrate them into your own system, and expand on them to make them your own.
Innovate: Think outside the box to create new ways of doing things nobody has seen before.
I wish you well on your journey of being the transformative leader you were born to be, and I look forward to seeing you next week.
